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by running for a lower office first, like President of the Hair Club for Men.―Jimmy Kimmel Donald Trump may be running for president.

He has the physical countenance of a man and a baby's temperament and tiny hands.―Jon Stewart If Donald Trump gets elected we may be saved from annihilation only if his stubby little baby fingers are too short to reach the nuclear codes.―Michael R. Unfortunately, like Trump's hands, the numbers are tiny and impossible to make out.―Michael R.Burch Say what you will about Trump, he is not stupid.He is a smart man with a deep understanding of what stupid people want.―Andy Borowitz News organizations simply are not equipped to cover a candidate whose entire being is a lie.The Hyper Texts The Best Donald Trump Jokes, Puns, Tweets, Quotations, Insults, Campaign Promises, Coinages, Nicknames, Hashtags, Memes, Limericks and Poems Here are the best Donald Trump jokes by comics and comedians like Samantha Bee, Lewis Black, Albert Brooks, Louis C.K., George Carlin, Johnny Carson, Michael Che, Stephen Colbert, James Corden, Whitney Cummings, Jimmy Fallon, Craig Ferguson, Will Ferrell, Gilbert Godfried, Larry King, Lisa Lampanelli, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Seth Mac Farlane, Bill Maher, Seth Meyers, Trevor Noah, Conan O'Brien, John Oliver, Joan Rivers, Chris Rock, Jeffrey Ross, Jon Stewart, Cecily Strong and Larry Wilmore.

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We also have quotes and quips by Joe Biden, Cher, Snoop Dogg, Bette Midler, Barack Obama, Sean Penn, Marco Rubio, Mitt Romney, and other politicians and celebrities.

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