Asexula dating sites
'One of the women I work with said, “I don’t think you’ve met the right man yet.” I said: “Trish, I’m 63.
If I haven’t met him by now I don’t think I’m going to.”’ Jean vividly recalls her moment of asexual awakening, eight years ago.
She had come across a newspaper article about asexuality, which led her, in turn, to AVEN.
'It was just so wonderful and liberating that there were other people who felt as I did, and [to know I wasn’t] a freak anymore.
I’d sit up writing comments on the website until stupid o’clock in the morning.’ AVEN now has about 50,000 to 60,000 members around the world, who chat on its online forums as well as meeting up in person, and even dating through the site.
The founder, David Jay, a 30-year-old scientific researcher from San Francisco, says that human asexuality started to be hypothesised by scientific researchers in the 1970s and 1980s, but that it has only been in the past decade that a community of people started to identify with the term. The first major book on the subject, Understanding Asexuality, by Prof Anthony Bogaert, of Brock University, Canada, has just been published and this summer the first worldwide conference on asexuality was held in London.
But other people never forget the moment they realise they don’t experience sexual attraction – the moment they discover they are asexual.
For Anwen Hayward, a 20-year-old student at Aberystwyth University, it was when her twin sister got her first boyfriend at 17 that she thought, 'Hang on, I’m a bit different here.’ She explains: 'When you’re in school and university, everyone’s really focused on relationships.
I never wanted that at all.’ At first she thought she was a slow developer, or a lesbian, but then she heard about the global online community for asexuality, AVEN (the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network).
Anwen defines herself as a romantic asexual and says she would be open to a romantic relationship with a man or a woman.
So far she has had two relationships, both with 'sexuals’, which didn’t work. Not kissing.’ She does not want to marry or have children because of the sex involved. But she says that because she’s young, fragile-looking and blonde, 'people assume that I’m very naive, that I’m not well versed in the world, and they talk down to me a lot, as if I’m unintelligent.’ She acknowledges that she may change her mind when she’s older, but then again, she says, one of the main issues she struggles with as an asexual is hearing that it’s just a phase she’s going through.